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  • Hey Garr. I've been working on Atlas' Test, Chapter 2, but I think I'm not giving Pete's character a proper doing. Would you mind giving it a look and telling me what you think I could do or change to make it better (Or you can edit parts of it, if you'd like; I don't mind if you do)?

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    • Writing this as I read:

      Something to keep in mind with Pete is that his speech isn't so formal, it's more casual (at least most of the time). It's hard for me to exactly pin it down and put it into words though, and he doesn't say much in Chapter 2 so far.

      Also, Pete's a lot more handsy - he has a habit of picking up stuff that isn't his and subsequently fumbling it (sometimes... often...). If he sees food, he goes straight for it too (even if it isn't offered), much to the annoyance of his teammates. If he sees little knick knacks, pictures, or anything else smaller than a breadbox that isn't nailed down, imagine they're a magnet and his hands are iron.

      Even though he's letting Megan ask the questions this time around (the dialogue pertaining to that can be reworked to better suit his character, I think, I'm just not sure how...), I feel like he might occasionally interject with something or other, be it questions of his own or accidentally dropping something.

      Overall, the chapter could do with some work, mostly needing more descriptions of the surroundings and, when doing dialogue like what's currently at the end of the chapter, descriptions of the characters; their internal reactions and thoughts, their physical reactions and mannerisms, etc. Something to break up the rapid fire, short sentences. Not necessarily with/after every sentence, and nothing necessarily very long, though.

      It's very hard trying to translate what's usually visual into text while also keeping things as close to the source as possible, especially when trying to capture mannerisms and behavior (I know from experience). I myself kinda suck with that, even after watching and rewatching the show so much. But, they're things you can pick up on and detect by doing so, which I recommend (if possible). 

      Episodes with examples of Pete's behavior that could be useful, that come to mind, are "Around the Bend", "Secret Santa", "Instinct", and "What Matters Most". 

      And this was all written somewhat stream-of-consciousness, so I apologize if this was poorly formatted/written or in some way confusing!

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    • No need to apologize! When I get back from vacation (Saturday), I'll watch those episodes to get a better idea. Thanks!

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • hey Gar I got an artifact that'll be perfect for the artifact database.

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    • Lemme guess, a carrot that makes your eyesight better? And if you have a suggestion, best to say it rather than wait for a reply, because besides myself i don't think anybody else here would be interested in replying to you, no offense.

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    • well yeah but the downside to it is if took another bite you'll be transformed into a rabbit for an hour.

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • (Moving this here to avoid interruptions, hopefully)

    Hey Garr, I wanted to let you know I wrote out the first part of the first chapter. It's just a little prologue that involves Megan by herself just before the assignment, thinking about the man she will date in a few days (which will even out to the end of the story). What I want to ask is whether you wanted Garrett to have a short prologue before the main assignment, or if you would rather jump right in to when Artie gives them the assignment?

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    • I dunno, I haven't thought about it much to be honest. I'm still working on a minor project and then I'll be completely free and ready to work on this with you (except if school gets in the way, and it might be picking up soon). If I say yes to Garrett's prologue, who would write it, you or me?

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    • It might be better to write it from your own perspective. That way, you can add whatever you'd like to it.

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    • I thought you of all people might appreciate this video that randomly showed up on my Tumblr feed just now. 

      http://lampfaced.tumblr.com/post/160033554687

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    • Oh my gosh! That's awesome! And apparently, harder than it looks!

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • So, I'm not quite ready to start writing yet, but I did want to discuss what type of storyline we wanted to do. There are a few base ideas I have: something involving Erika Nomeki, and the collection of Tuxedo Mask's Rose and Sailor Venus's Transformation Pen. I also wanted to collect one other artifact from a separate fandom with an appearance of one other; nothing that would be overly powerful, but things that would cause trouble. I'm thinking that, on the whole, this case is what makes the Warehouse recognize that the Sailor Moon Fans are more trouble than initial appearances let on.

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    • Either way. I have no real interest or desire to roleplay with you at the current time.

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    • so maybe later?

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • Aden can't bend space, only redistribute, reshuffle, relocate... take it for the benefit of his team. Just cuz he can fake Spacial Rend, doesn't mean he's Palkia.

    To do what you're doing, you'd need Mary herself. I thought I told you that... and she's the more veangeful of them.

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  • I have a few more questions about your characters, so I thought I'd post them here for you to answer. First, under the assumption that I decide to make the Sailor Moon artifacts cross-gender compatible (with the downsides as mentioned on the page), would either Scott or Garrett (leaning more towards Garrett on this one) be willing to use one of the pens to help out Megan? Second, do the pair always work together - one follows the other? Thirdly, are there any specific circumstances that could feasibly cause trouble on a mission (bickering doesn't count)?

    As a side question, would you be willing to be a guest author?

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    • I plan on sometime getting Per and Draco's help writing the Oto Arc Finale, and I have a flashback stoy planned as well. His personality has changed quite a bit over time, especially after Scott, but hopefully I'll be able to make a good story for you to reference.

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    • I look forward to reading it!

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • This is the 4-page teaser comic I drew a while ago for the finale to the Oto arc. Its not much, and it does show blood (its light, not gory, and it looks kinda cartoony, so don't worry). I hope you guys like it?

    Teaserp1

    Page 1

    Teaserp2

    Page 2

    Teaserp3

    Page 3

    Teaserp4

    Page 4

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  • You know, you can also RP with my gijinkas too.  Just saying, Per doesn't have to be the only one.

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